On darkest times...

This one is from the pages of my journal. It’s about an idea I had during the darkest or toughest times! Most of the part is a metaphor but the central idea remains! It might be a bit difficult to understand for it’s difficult for me as well to explain. But I know we all always experience this but seldom realizing!

The darkness was falling deep, aside me, inside me.

I was walking, walking alone with an empty mind. But was it really empty. Many times how relentlessly we try to fool ourselves. An unachievable feet yet we try it. How foolish really!

An owl went past my head taking me totally by surprise! The night time, the resting time, was apparently also time to work! Somewhere far away I could hear dogs barking at their highest. Were they also just like me, totally desperate and fallen! What was I supposed to do! Cry or what? Shout out loud?

I wanted remorse. I was so outplayed by the destiny! They say it's good to have problems. That's where we learn. But now I was just seek of all this learning. I was tired. I was exhausted. I had no where to go. It's easy when others disappoint you, you have yourself to comfort! What to do when you disappoint yourself? Where will that will power come from? What on earth can cheer me up? During the day you have light. During night you at least have shadows. It's when at night even shadows leave you that you really understand the loneliness.

The light was dimming as the clouds were covering the moon. It was close to midnight. As I looked into the sky just few stars were trying theie best to glow and defeat the darkness but it was impossible for them either. So far yet they were trying their very best. And here I was totally giving up!

I wanted answers to the questions I knew had no answers. Yet why was I seeking them in the eccentricity? And that was the time when a thought struck me like a lightening bolt hitting a tree top or a ray breaking through the light at a blazing speed! I was the origin of every thought that came to mind! It was not that thoughts generate at their own. I was the one fuelling them. I was the creator and I was the only one who could possibly control them.

And a big laugh broke out! I felt joy like never before! I felt so thankful for all the problems in the life for the first time! I thought I had found some darkest and yet cleanest secret!

They always talk about angels around you but seldom do they mention the angels within you! It's like that old line, "He wanted it, wanted it badly,but coudn't find it, he looked everywhere except for himself".

©Devendra Oak.

That Thing Called “LUCK” - #1 Introduction

LUCK, DESTINY, GOD’S WILL name can be anything yet the thing we speak about is the same. I had been doing some thinking on this phenomenon called “LUCK”. Before putting forward my conclusions I would like to put forward some of my observations.

Consider this, a student fails by 2 marks, a fielder misses a catch by fraction and batsman goes on to score a century, a person misses a train by seconds,. What is the immediate response? “Ahh! Bad luck…” At the same time what do skeptics say in such situations? “He should have done better or he didn’t do enough!”

Now consider, a person becoming a millionaire courtesy of a flash of an idea, a champion cyclist achieving unbelievable feats, a seemingly underdog attaining great heights, what’s the immediate response? “Yeah I did it…!” At the same time the same skeptics say, “Well he just got lucky...!”

As you can see we as people always tend to consider or ignore the “Luck Factor”. It’s a human tendency to take credit for the achievements and blame the failures on luck. So the question arises “Where exactly does this luck factor lie?” or “Up to what extent does the result depend on it?” Well I did a survey by asking the question that “What is the % of effort and % of luck in any outcome” to some of my friends. I received a wide variety of answers. Some said outcome largely depends on efforts. Some said it was more about luck. My brother put it in a neat perspective he said “50% on effort and +/- 50% on luck, where u need a total of 100 for a positive outcome.” I received another similar response that one needs to do his part but at the end of the day nothing can be accomplished without the luck factor.

Imagine this, there is a tall building having an elevator at the second floor. The elevator moves upwards as well as downwards. One has to walk up the steps to reach the elevator. But the trick is that one can’t control the elevator. So one’s job is to reach the 2^nd floor via stairs and then the rest is not in his hands. I know this may seem like seemingly negative state of mind as assuming that ultimately the outcome is not decided by efforts but if you observe closely the world around us that’s the way it is.

This particular question has been bugging me for quite some years now. I found almost satisfactory answers in Hindu philosophy. I read some extensive works on Hindu philosophy of ‘Karma’. I also read Aristotelian as well as Zen philosophy. Considering the size of these topics I feel I should dedicate separate articles to each one of them.

At the moment this topic is far from over and will be writing shortly on the same considering different aspects and the views of different philosophies.

© Devendra Oak.

A few lingering thoughts.....

As I had mentioned in my earlier post, here are a few more thoughts on love....
I have been doing some research on views of great people on love. As I found there are many different views on the subject. I read thoughts from Einstein till Shakespeare. So now with the help of thoughts of these great people I am going to elaborate my views on the topic.
Some say love is an ultimate feeling, some say it’s a biochemical disaster, some say it’s presence of God. The topic is so vast that I felt I should perhaps write separately on different forms of love.
In the words of Shakespeare,
...Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or Bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
A mysterious definition as it sounds, but I guess not for those who have experienced the feeling. So love is something that can’t be broken, that can’t be defeated, a rejuvenating miraculous tonic! One of the key self questions of self assessment for me is “Did I love unconditionally?” As I feel only unconditional love can have the kind of strength that Shakespeare talks about. Also as HE puts it, “They do not love that do not show their love.” So it’s not enough to love unconditionally but also to show it. For greatest gift that one can receive is to know that he was loved. To sum up on the definition, Shakespeare says,
“Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar
but never doubt thy love.”
So I guess Shakespeare defines Love in a most precise way possible.
As I was reading these thoughts what got me thinking was “Does such love really exist or is it just an idealism?” It’s ironic really that greatest things in life are simplest and hence hard to believe! But as I have observed such unconditional really exists. Purest form of such love is mother-child. There can be some other relations bearing similar strength but nothing for me can be purer than this form. But the relation between mother-child is very interesting thing. The energy or strength here is so ultimate that sometimes mother can do things for the sake the children which can actually be destructive to the relationship. But I guess doing good for the children is so important for a mother that sometimes ‘love that heals’ can become ‘love that harms’. However the love felt by the mother is so high that she can undertake destructive behavior having only one goal in mind, ‘doing good for the children’. If we see in animals, a female with an offspring is way dangerous than any strong male. A woman has always been a nest defender and hence I guess has to have that ultimate strength.
It reminds me of an incident. “Once I was waiting at Karjat station. There was a very poor woman getting down from Mumbai-Pune passenger. She had 4 children with her. Two of them got down but one kept lingering so what she did was she just threw him out. I was really amazed. How can a mother be so rude on children?” But as I wrote earlier it’s not really rudeness but just an ultimate form of love. Because train was about to leave and she had 2-3 big bags as well. And the child may have fallen somewhere so she had to get him away. May be she was wrong or perhaps what I perceived is wrong.
Will write on another form of love in next article…..
©Devendra Oak.

Love is in the air…

With Valentine’s Day approaching there was apparent love in the air. Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject. I would like to start with some lines I read somewhere.

Love is not receiving,

It’s giving and forgiving.

Love is not red roses on Valentine’s Day,

It’s all of the 365 days, knowing you love someone.

Love is not phone calls and stolen moments,

It’s the silent smiles in the memory of your sweet heart.

Love is not a grand wedding,

But spending a lifetime together.

Love is not fighting and making up,

It’s loving the one who annoys the hail out of you….

Well I myself can’t think of any more matured description of love than this. One day it got me thinking, “What’s love?” The answers that I found are totally of my opinion and I expect that no reader should get judgmental..!!!

I don’t want to get into silly love stories and stuff shown in movies. Here on, the discussion will concentrate on true love. Now question arises “What is true love?” Well it can be said that true love is something where nothing is expected in return. One loves someone else but preserves other person’s right of choice.

I think love is a feeling where one loses all his senses towards the person he loves. There are many forms of love. Love can be between mother-son, brothers, boy and a girl, human and God and many more. A common string everywhere is that one is willing to give everything he has for the person he loves. Now question comes then does love decay someone. Well off course not. I feel true love can be a way to self actualize. A way towards spirituality. A way towards one’s own self in a better manner. Everyone sees it from his own perspective. The point I am trying to make is, for me Love is something where one loses his own perspective or rather loses his self pride.

We have mythological and other stories filled with love. Even in case of Krishna we get to see different forms of love. Krishna and Radha, Krishna and Meera, Krishna and Rukmini, Krishna and Satyabhama, Krishna and his fellows, Krishna and his followers. List is endless.

I think I have just started this topic. Reader’s comments can really enhance it. I will write more on the same topic shortly…

-Devendra.

©Devendra Oak.

Through the eyes of a child...

As i was going to college today, as usual standing in door, a couple with a small kid boarded the train. Thankfully there was not much rush today as it usually is. As i saw that kid looking everywhere with enthusiasm it got me thinking.

There was this fearless smile on his face. A faith that as he was with his dad he had no danger what so ever. He would just lie back on his dad's back if he felt afraid. He was staring out of the door. Amazed at the pace with which we were travelling. Suddenly he would smile. A few times he would just turn his face to make sure his parents were there. On seeing any new thing or person he would observe with a keenness. And what immediately followed was a big grin. Amazingly as the couple walked in, it completely changed the atmosphere because of the kid. Everyone was looking at him and everyone would smile as he giggled. What change a simple innocent smile can bring to tired and anxious faces...!!!

As i looked at him smiling dancing in his father's safe lap, I wondered will the same smile be there after say 10 or 15 years. What world we have today. What world we are building for the generations to come. Do we ever care about it. Will his face be smiling or the smile would have vanished somewhere because of the system?

I guess we all have this child sleeping somewhere within us. Very few of us have what it takes to keep that child alive and smiling. in many cases it would have already died probably whatever may be the reasons. Many prefer to keep it silent in order to be socially right. Just imagine how the world will be if everyone start seeing things through the eyes of a child. There will be no hatred no anger no racism of any kind in short no man made feeling. I don't want to sound philosophical here but really if only we could start living life the way we used to when we were a child we could take this world to a far higher level. Just a single innocent smile indeed can make a big difference....

Author-Devendra Oak.

A dedication...

I was in this boat
heading to the sea
just another day
for anyone but me.

Sun was beating down
below on my neck
and so was the wind
taking me ahead.

Looking through the blue
searching for her face
wonder where she went
to never come again.

I truly needed her
to get my world in shape
As I had every else
except for pinch of faith.

As I was moving on
through galloping sea
It never came to me
how lonely one could be.

The lovely sea below
and heavy winds that whip
but neither really gets
It's I who guide my ship.

I need a gentle push
and just a bit of faith
with right attitude
to complete the voyage.

On my shining deck
trying to stand in peace
and searching for her face
the one I really miss.

-Devendra Oak.